Life is More than Fine

Life is more than fine. It is; hard or easy, rough or smooth, complicated or simple. Many verbs describe life. Fine isn’t one of them.

After all, fine doesn’t tell the listener anything.

Before my husband’s death, he disliked me saying, “I’m fine,” or “it’s fine.” Because he knew, when I said those words I was anything but fine.

Of course, the slamming of kitchen cabinets, banging dishes, or my stomping around and muttering under my breath, might have been a clue, all was not fine.

At this point my husband backed away from me and made a hasty exit. He’d work out in the yard or on one of his projects, far away from me and, “fine.” On occasion he’s grab his keys and mutter, “I’ll be at . . .” and he’d give a destination. He’d come back several hours later, when he thought my mood had shifted out of “fine” and into “great” or “good.”

Fine tells nothing. It’s a lukewarm word.

After my husband died if some asked how I was doing, my answer invariably was, “fine.”

Some days I was so far from fine, it’s a wonder the word left my lips. There were other days when I was doing great. Still, no matter how bad I felt, my answer was, “fine.”

Until a friend pointed out that saying “fine” helped no one and told them nothing. I wasn’t fine, so it didn’t make me feel any better. My friends knew I wasn’t fine, but they didn’t know how much I was hurting; they had no idea what I might need.

Did I need a hug? Did I need a shoulder to lean on? Did I need support as I tried a new venture? What did I need, how could they help? They had no idea because I’d told them I was fine.

What about our clubs and organizations. How many times do we use the word fine, and not tell the listener anything?

Someone asks, “should we do A or B.” The answer they get is, “either one is fine.” That tells them nothing.

Have an opinion. Which is better A or B? Take a stand. Drop “fine” from the vocabulary. Tell how you feel, make a decision. Be more than fine.

Sometimes we use the word fine as a description, of an event or destination. It doesn’t work well there either.

Ever go swimming at the beginning of summer, before the water has warmed up enough for swimming? Often we don’t care, before entering the water. The weather is warm, the water is there, we’re going in.

Brrr, What do we do? We call to our friends, “come on in, the water’s fine.”

Nope. They know better. The water isn’t fine, it’s cold. They know this because our lips are turning blue and they can see the goose bumps on our arms from the shore. Fine does not describe the water, or our experience.

The last few days here in Oklahoma, the weather has been beautiful. Spring-like temperatures, no rain, light breezes instead of gusty winds, great weather. Few people, if any, referred to the weather as, fine.  No, they say things like, “hasn’t the weather been marvelous?” or “I love this beautiful weather.”

Whatever is going on in your life, it’s either not fine at all or much better than fine.

What is better than fine in your life this week?

What do you think, should we use the word fine less often?

Hope your day is superb, better than fine.

It’s so much fun to play with the kids at SoSC and write stream of conscious using a prompt. Be sure to check out some of the other bloggers participating.


About Nita

Quilter, writer, speaker, mom and grandmom. I enjoy making quilts for my grandkids, and other children. I especially love hearing and sharing quilt stories with others, that's how the book came about and this blog will continue to share quilt stories and how God works with quilts to comfort and teach us.
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3 Responses to Life is More than Fine

  1. Roy Lennic says:

    Most people use the word fine because it bears no argument its like a straight line, so there is nothing you can do about it, because it is already straight.
    Most people use to hide their insecurities, sadness and pain. Because there is no point someone will ask you “how fine” after telling them that you are fine.

    Fine means just fine because it is okay and good. Is that the case really?
    Its true life is never fine, and we have to accept that and live with it the rest of our lives.
    We should learn to express ourselves openly and not just intimidate ourselves with the ignorance of not acknowledging that things are not fine sometimes, and we have to describe them as they are. As they are real.

    • Nita says:

      I agree Roy. However, another blogger pointed out some of the ways Fine is better than okay. She reminded me of Fine Art, Fine China, and I’m sure some others. Still, fine is often used to hide behind.

      • Roy Lennic says:

        Maybe fine means normal or alright. The thing is we will never know for sure what the speaker means when he or she says fine. We will just have to assume that it means acceptable and bearable. I guess so.

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