Give Yourself a Compliment

When was the last time you  complimented yourself? You compliment others don’t  you? Tell someone they look nice.  Someone has a good idea and you comment on it, or does something nice and you compliment them for their manners, both are a form of complimenting. But you? When was the last time you complimented you?

When did you last tell yourself you looked nice, hot even, in that favorite outfit? You prepare a meal for one, and enjoy it, did you compliment the chef? You get the bills all paid, on time or even early, did  you compliment yourself on a job well done? So many opportunities during the day to compliment ourselves and we let them slide by.

In fact, instead of complimenting we often put ourselves down. We don’t acknowledge how nice we look, just remind ourselves we’re too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too, too, too. When in fact, we look great.

Other opportunities often  also ignored. For today, whenever today is, how about making a pact to give yourself a compliment at least three times just because. Also, vow to give yourself a compliment every time you catch yourself being negative to you.

In case you need some help with compliments for you, here are a few that spell W-I-D-O-W


You didn’t get to the age you are without learning a few things. Wisdom you are willing to impart to others as well as knowledge you use each day. Knowledge that helps you complete your day and reach your goal. You are wise, acknowledge and embrace that aspect of you.


Are you aware how you impress others with your skills and talents? Do you garden, sew, paint, write, clean house, do floral arrangements, listen, babysit, take photos, care for dogs, visit shut-ins, volunteer? Whatever you do is impressive. Not only to those who watch and are in awe, but those who are affected by your talents. They enjoy the fruits of your labor. Compliment yourself of your impressiveness instead of finding fault with your endeavor.

D – Daring



Women in general are daring, not walk on an airplane daring. Although there have been women wing walkers, as well as women pursuing other bold feats. No, simpler actions can be just as daring. Walking into the boss’s office and asking for a raise is not for the weak. Pointing out an error on a bill takes courage. Stepping outside when all you want to do is crawl back in bed is daring. What daring action are  you taking today? Don’t forget to compliment yourself on following through.





O – Opinionated/Original


Yes we have opinions. From breast feeding in public to gun control, and everything in between, we have an opinion. We share our opinions in many ways, speaking out to family, friends, strangers, writing our views in letters to the editor, to our legislature, or in our journal.  We are also original, a one-of-a-kind work of art. No one sees anything quite like we do. Celebrate your originality and opinions.



While we are serious wise women, with strong opinions, we are also whimsical. We build fairy gardens, and create wonderland yards for holidays. We color our hair green or purple. We wear our favorite jewelry while doing housework. When you find yourself being whimsical, congratulate and compliment yourself.



Giving yourself a compliment is good for your mental health. Try it.


When was the last time you complimented yourself?

Will you find a reason to compliment yourself today?

What is your favorite compliment, to give or receive?


Excuses Create Walls Between Us and Our Dreams

Yesterday’s post gave me fits. First the computer wouldn’t play nice and let me write in my word processor. Next the internet gave me fits. Then the WordPress site didn’t format correctly. It was a bad night. I’d spent the day out of town at a meeting and was tired.

Finally, I gave up and went to bed, I needed to be up at 5 this morning. Didn’t want to still be working on the blog post by then. Last night my feeling was disappointment, I wasn’t going to get a daily post up for October for the Ultimate blog Challenge.

This morning my frame of mind was improved. First, I remembered the posts could be two in one day if needed. Cool. Second, I had a picture ready to go, it posted and now the blog is up-to-date, just needing a post for today.  And here it is.

A post about the walls we build in our lives. Invisible walls separating us from each other. However, I’m not very political so this is about our individual walls, the walls we put up to separate us from our dreams and goals, and yes even people.

Sometimes our walls start out as a little pebble.

Often it’s the word “can’t”. I can’t do whatever it is I’m wanting to do. Most often in the company of other supporting rocks.

We have two options when the rocks hurt our feet.

1.) We can gather them, the reason and the supporting rocks. Those that give us an excuse or a reason not to do whatever it is we want to do, or think we would enjoy. I can’t do this (rock one) because of that (rock 2) and (additional rocks.) We keep adding until we’ve built a rock wall that seems insurmountable.

2.) We can step over or on the rocks and proceed toward our goal stacking the rocks together to create a marker. A sign that we came that way, and moved ahead.

If the wall is already built, then it’s time to build a ladder to climb over it. Ladders are built just like the wall, one step, one rung, one action, one success  at a time.

I finally gave up and went to bed. I built a wall that prevented me from posting on the blog and preventing me from having a post for every day in October. That’s the goal of the Ultimate Blog Challenge, to have 30-31 posts at the end of the month.

So today I built a ladder to climb the wall.

Rung One, Posted a picture of a ladder on a wall.

Rung two:  This blog is going to have a post for every day, even if they aren’t actually posted on the day.

Rung three: Wrote a post for today.

Rung four: Schedule today’s post for later this afternoon, even though I will be away from the computer.

Rung five, okay, there were only four rungs. This wall was relatively short. Still, it could have stopped my dream/goal of 31 posts in October. Instead, I am still on track.

Which are you building, a wall, a ladder, or a marker?

What stands in the way of your dream?

What was the most recent “rock” you encountered and overcame?



Sometimes We Just Have to Start Over

Starting over. Again.

That seems to be something I’m good at, starting over. How about you? have you tried something. Attempted to  implement a plan only to find yourself faltering after a few hours, days, weeks, maybe months?

No fear. Simply start again. Don’t worry about where, when, or why you stopped. Start again.

I don’t always restart a project. Sometimes after I get into it, I realize it isn’t the right project. Maybe it isn’t right for now or for the reason it was started. Why isn’t really important, knowing it isn’t what I should be currently working on. It’s a project that needs to be put away, or handed off to someone else.

This blog is not one of those projects. I believe in it, and believe it has value. That hasn’t kept it from being abandoned. In fact, it has been restarted so many times I can’t even count. It’s had different hosts. It’s had different names and focus. Even now, with the focus to help widows, and others find and pursue their dreams to create their diamond life I’ve struggled with what and when to post.

Back in July, during the last Ultimate Blog Challenge, the planned posts were about decluttering and what was leaving the house that day. The decluttering lasted all month, the posting didn’t. Then, I never got back to posting and this poor blog was left, abandoned.

This month I’m starting, again. Once again, I’m also using the Ultimate Blog Challenge to kick-start my posts and keep me going all month and into next month. That’s the plan. I also have a posting plan, a list of themes or ideas of what to write and post about each day. Now there’s a scary thought, a pantzer (someone who does things by the seat of her pants) attempting to plan. We will see how it goes.

The current “plan” is to post on different themes or ideas each day of the week:

Sunday – Tea Time – With any luck this will be a video, also posted on Facebook. Today’s: New Foods:

Monday – Moving our bodies and exercise

Tuesday – Virtual travel, come and travel around Oklahoma with me.

Wednesday – Prompts and ideas for writing your story.

Thursday – Quotes

Friday – Food, yes, I know I talked about food today on Tea Time, but these will be posts about easy, inexpensive, foods we can prepare

Saturday – Leisure Time, What do you do on your day “off”? Ideas, suggestions, and hopefully some interaction.

There you have it. My restart and plan for the month. See you tomorrow and we’ll discuss exercise an eight-letter word that usually means “yuck.”

Do you have a project you’ve restarted, or are planning to restart?

What helps  you restart a project you believe in?

Have you abandoned a project because it wasn’t the right time, or the right activity for the time?

I look forward to hearing from you. Please leave a comment.











Workout Wednesday – Exercise to Stay in Your Home

Welcome to my ever-changing world.


In our family we often say my brother wakes up in a different world every day. Well, I guess I do too.

When I started this blog, and then when this challenge came along, Wednesday was for devotions. Even had one written for today when I changed my mind.

Wednesday is now Workout Wednesday. Not sure how long this title will last, we will see. Working out, exercising, moving more than we sit is vital. Especially as we get older. Two of my friends demonstrated this last year.

Bessie and Opal (not their real names) are both in their early seventies. Both had mobility issues. Opal was already using a walker and Bessie had a cane. Both women knew they needed to exercise, even in a limited way.


Bessie began taking short walks. At first she walked through her house a time or two. Soon she moved to walking to end of her driveway then out to her garden. Each day she went one or two steps further.

Opal said, “I know I need to exercise, but if I walk outside it’s embarrassing to just walk a few feet and sit down to rest.”

When she was encouraged to walk in her house she replied, “I don’t know how far I’m walking.” She didn’t walk at all. She frowned at the suggestion of doing exercises while sitting. She signed up at a gym, but quit going when she over-exercised and hurt the next day.


In the meantime, Bessie kept moving one step more each day. Until the day came when she didn’t need the cane. She continued pushing forward gently. By Spring she was able to go out and work in her garden for an hour at a time.


Both ladies are super nice, and would do anything to help someone else. Bessie did something for herself and took action to be able to remain in  her home and enjoy her garden. Opal is still in her home, but she has mentioned that the time could come when she’d have to move where there is help available for her.

Like Bessie and Opal, I want to stay in my own home and be able to function. In fact, if I just had to use a walker I’d have to move. My house is not handicapped accessible and would be costly to make it work.

I started slow, walking, then added yoga and stretching. Right now I’m up to 5,000 steps a day, 10,000 is the goal.

Since this is National Letter week, how about writing a letter to your exercise, or accountability partner, your trainer (if you have one,) your gym owner. I think I’ll write one to the town of Allen. They have a walking trail that’s the perfect distance and in the right location for me to use  when returning from town.




Do you exercise?

What is your favorite exercise?

What is your favorite time to exercise?








































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































One Word for the Year


I don’t know who said, “when you focus on what you want, everything else falls away,” but I believe it’s true.

Which is why FOCUS is my word of the year for 2017. I learned about choosing a word of the year around 2012. I don’t always have a word. Sometimes nothing fits.

Last year I forgot about the word of the year. I didn’t even try to think of one. This year, thanks to, Laurel Regan at Alphabet Soup, I was reminded, and the word FOCUS immediately came to mind.

In the early months, after my husband’s death my focus was all about ME. I hurt. I was lonely. I was scared. I was lost. All of my focus was on me, and how bad my life was, how angry I was to be continuing this life journey without my life partner.

That was too tiring. It’s exhausting to be angry, sad, upset. All.The.Time.

Gradually, I began to turn my attention, and focus outward to others.

I joined Toastmasters, and met new people who supported me and encouraged me. Participated in events, including several speaking contests.  

I joined Quilts of Valor, and have presented several quilts to soldiers (of every service) who were willing to put their lives on the line for us.


I returned to writing and wrote two devotional type books using quilt stories. Was invited to write a short story for an anthology. Have started another collection of short stories as well as an historical novel.

This year I have several goals I want to reach. Goals that have been on my list for two or more years. This is the year they are completed so I can move on to other projects, and ideas. Take care of the old and move forward.

I do have some motivational plans to help with the goals. For example one of my goals is to drop some weight. Honestly, that’s been a resolution or goal for, forever. To help with that I’ve signed up for, and paid to walk in two 5K events.

The first one, The Stuart Hornet Hustle is sponsored by my town. The money raised goes to the graduating seniors who plan to attend college. Most everyone else will be running, but just starting and then finishing is a new experience for me.

The second one is the Oklahoma City Wicked Wine Run.  Both my younger sister and my daughter are signed up for this. Doing it with them, even at a much slower pace, will be a new and enjoyable experience.

FOCUS  Is not just for the races, and weight reduction. In so many areas of my life I need to pay attention. So this year my word is Focus.


Do you do a word of the year?

What word describes your 2016?

Do you have goals that have been on your list for multiple years?

This is post 8 for the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

Also linking up with, Alphabet Soup for the word of the year.




Home Exercise

Staying on the fitness track is NOT easy. However, since Jen over at JVKom encourages her readers with a Fitness Friday, I’m trying.

This week she wants to know our favorite place to work out. Huh? Not only am I supposed to work out to stay healthy, and able to live where I want. Now I have a favorite place?

Home. My house. That’s it, my favorite (?) place to exercise.

First of all, I live in a rural area, driving to a gym, work-out facility, or even a track means a 30 minute drive, one way. That means if I travel, my exercise takes a minimum of 2 hours.  Don’t have time for that!

Second, is price. Using a facility (unless it’s an outdoor track) means paying for the privilege. What? I have to pay to get hot and sweaty? Plus, paying for the use of the room and equipment, there is the gas cost. Which isn’t cheap these days.

Third is the commitment. Since becoming a widow I seem  commitment-phobic. Didn’t have an issue committing to staying with one man “until death did us part.” However, no agreeing to be at a specific place at a certain time,  several times a week is beyond me. Shoot, even agreeing to be there weekly is a challenge.

So, my exercise place of choice (can’t say it’s my favorite) is home. I have a walking video that I enjoy, use when walking outside is beyond me. Since I live in a rural area, I enjoy walking the outer perimeter of our acreage, it’s about a mile walk. And of course, there is the pool. I do love getting in the pool and exercising. Really, I play and call it exercise. In the past the bicycle was an exercise-type activity I enjoyed. Soon it will be added to my list of “exercising” activities.

So, there  you have it, favorite place to exercise, or maybe, the least objectionable place to work out is at home.

Check out Jen and the other friendly fitness folks on her blog here. Do you have a favorite (or least objectionable) place to exercise?

Do you have an exercise routine?

Is exercise as an activity new to you?

For more ideas on how I, and other women, and you can survive and continue a productive, enjoyable life after widowhood check out my book, Beyond the Grief; A Widow’s Survival Guide.

Fuel for Fitness

In days gone by those older than me allowed me to hang with them. Nowadays, thanks in large part to the internet, it’s the young’uns who let me hang with them. Like those young, fit, healthy folks that run with Jen over at JVKom Chronicles and link up with her Fitness  Friday.

This week she suggests we list our favorite fuel. As in food and beverage to fuel us, not the gasoline or diesel that fuels our vehicles.

My first favorite it water. Again.

As I mentioned last time, here, water is my favorite exercise. Okay, not water exactly, but being in the water and moving.

Now, here again water is my go-to fuel. Honest, most days I drink sixty ounces or more. Sure, there are those days I don’t. Those days are rare. I drink water when I first get up, for every meal, and sometimes in between.

Yes, I drink other liquids too, milk, green tea, lemon water, that’s still water though. Right? On occasion I have a soda. Dr. Pepper was my favorite splurge. Although, Root Beer is my current treat drink of choice.

My other favorite drink is milk. Real milk. Not milk from nuts, or beans, real milk from cows, or goats. Since I don’t currently have access to goat milk, it’s cow’s milk in my refrigerator.

During the winter milk is good with meals and sometimes as a snack (or with a snack). In the summer though, is when milk shines for me. Warning, the following statement may cause gagging. Ready?

I drink milk when I’m hot. If I’ve been working and am hot and sweaty, a glass of milk will cool and refresh better than anything. It’s often followed by a glass of water, however, not always.

My kids and friends are all horrified that I drink milk when I’m hot. Some of them think it should curdle on my stomach. It doesn’t.

Strange as it sounds, milk is my second choice for favorite fuel.

My favorite food-type fuel is vegetables. No, I can’t limit it to one. First, it depends on the season. Right now is garden season. I love fresh tomatoes and cucumbers. Sometimes I’ll slice up a tomato to go with breakfast, or it will be breakfast. Sliced tomatoes and cucumbers, along with some cheese make a quick tasty lunch or supper.

Eggs might also qualify as a favorite fuel. They keep forever. For several months anyway, at least fresh ones do. They can be cooked in a variety of ways, fried (no oil), scrambled, boiled, as a quiche, omelet, and probably other methods I’m not thinking about right now.

There you have it, water and milk, eggs and veggies and I’m good. How about you? What are your favorite foods, healthy or otherwise. Just because Fridays are about fitness doesn’t mean you can’t share your favorite food. Don’t forget to check out the other bloggers linked up with Jen. They have some good food ideas and a few recipes I’ll be trying.

Do you have any type of fitness plan?

Do you have a favorite drink, healthy or otherwise?

What is your favorite go-to food?